A Few Jokes for Your Friday

  At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the philosophy department, "I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty, or - ten million dollars."
  Immediately the professor chooses Wisdom. 
  There is a flash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
  The professor says, "I should have taken the money."
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  A woman reports her husband's disappearance to the police.
  "He's six foot, three inches tall, well-built, with thick curly hair."
  Her friend says, "What are you talking about? Your husband is five-feet-four, bald, and has a huge belly."
  And she says, "Who wants that one back?"
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  A Frenchman walks into a bar. There's a parrot perched on his shoulder wearing a tuxedo. The bartender says, "Wow. That's cute. Where did you get that?"
  The parrot says, "In France. They've got millions of guys like this over there!"
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  A lawyer sent a note to a client. "Dear Frank, I thought I saw you downtown yesterday and crossed the street to say hello, but it wasn't you. One-tenth of an hour: $50."
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  A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandson playing on the beach when suddenly a large wave comes and sweeps him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. Please bring him back."
   And a big wave comes and washes the boy back up on the beach, good as new.
  She looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat!"
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  A man comes rushing into the psychiatrist's office, apologizing for being late because he overslept. "But I had an incredible breakthrough in my dream," the man said breathlessly. "In it, I was talking with my mother and she suddenly turned into you! That's when I woke up, got dressed, grabbed a Coke and a donut, and rushed here to your office."
  The psychiatrist says, "A Coke and a donut? You call that a breakfast?"
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And finally ...
  Secretary: "Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room."
  Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him."


I culled these jokes from the book, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes, by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein. It's a thoroughly entertaining and educational read. Have a great day!